hashiworks

2012-01-01T20:09:00.001-08:00

Despite renewal of our vows, new rings, and a romantic vacation, this morning Josh told me that he has changed his mind again, and that he doesn't want to be married to me anymore. This time it is really over, because I won't be opening myself up to this hurt again. I don't know when or where I will move; I am too shell-shocked to make plans right now. I am holed up with friends, feeling very sad and sick and bewildered.

After 6 years of joyful sharing, this blog is now closed. In the next few weeks I will start another. If you would like to follow me there, please email me at hashimaree at gmail dot com, and I will share the new address with you.

Peace out.

December 31

2011-12-31T10:52:00.000-08:00

It's quiet here. Everyone is out. Buffy came looking for me, mewed, then waddled off. Josh and I slept very little last night. We went to bed after midnight then lay in the dark bedroom for several hours after waking early, his arms wrapped around me, our eyes mostly closed, his warmth at my back. We never do that. We usually sleep on our own sides of the bed; I get too hot while touching, and he likes to play music under his pillow while I need silence. But this morning it felt so right, so peaceful and nourishing. Just to love each other gently and quietly in the dim room on this last day of a crazy year.

We are in a tenuous place, working on renewing a relationship that went off the tracks, both with our cracked open hearts that want nothing but happiness for ourselves and the other. It is not a simple thing, to put a marriage back together. While rediscovering our original joy, we have to put aside preconceptions and make new patterns of communication and behaviour. It's work. Some days are easier than others. But we're going forward, one day at a time, in kindness.

I have given much thought to my 'one little word' for 2012. I was first drawn to HEALING, but now I'm going to go with HEALTHY. Healthy body, healthy relationships. I want more than just to heal, I want to go beyond healing into a place of great health. I know some changes I need to make, and others will become apparent over time, if I keep LISTENING (my word for 2011) to my body and intuition.

No grand resolutions for me; just a continuing of the heightened awareness that a year of conscious listening has brought. And a wish for good health to you all.

Maui wowee

2011-12-29T10:14:00.000-08:00

Our tropical paradise vacation was some kind of perfect.

2011 is ending SO much better than it started. What a crazy year it's been. Two months ago we were merely days away from a finalized divorce. Now we are giddy in love again, and re-committed to our marriage.

And I have to tell you that Mookie is not the only poet in the family. I awoke early the other morning as Josh was getting out of bed in the dark. "Shush," he commanded. "Don't talk." So I slept for another hour or so, and was then greeted with this poem he had been composing earlier.

Is that romantic ... or what??

:-)

Drive-by sunset

2011-12-21T14:36:00.000-08:00

I know I shouldn't take photos while I drive. But sometimes it's just so pretty along PCH. I left work early enough to catch the sunset today. Gorgeous. OK, I pumped up the vibrancy in Camera+. But it was still gorgeous!

We're going to have a very different Christmas this year. No big meal, no silly hats, no friends, no crackling fire.

Because we're going to Hawaii!

Woot!

Have yourself a merry little (buddhist) christmas

2011-12-16T20:45:00.001-08:00

I'm neither Christian nor Buddhist. But I love Christmas lights, and faithful friends who gather near to us, and warm feelings of goodwill and cheer. I also love the peace this little fellow brings to me when I spend time with him.

And then there's bokeh. Of course I love that too.

So here we have them all. Merry Christmas, all of you.

At the ball park

2011-12-11T10:08:00.001-08:00

Josh plays on an entertainment industry softball team, and yesterday was perfect weather to watch. It was a nail-biting game, ending 19-18 with a grand slam. Yay Dexter! I love that last shot; being on opposing teams (and shows) doesn't hurt the friendships. The camaraderie is great to see. Those guys and girls have a blast.

And I've decided the time has come for me to learn to throw and catch. I don't want to go through the rest of my life "throwing like a girl". My own personal coach has agreed to teach me. Cool!

Feeling good

2011-12-05T19:55:00.001-08:00

Busy day, but happy. Yes, definitely happy.

Things are feeling right.

Into the sun

2011-12-01T09:30:00.001-08:00

All the tears you cry
Will one day be dry
And like birds we'll fly
Up into the sky
Our love will survive

And when the day is done
I will follow you into the sun
And after all my love
I will follow you into the sun

All these days gone by
Just like waves roll by
I can't wait to hold
You inside my arms
Our love will survive

And when the day is done
I will follow you into the sun
And after all my love
I will follow you into the sun

--Sean Lennon

Morning gratitude

2011-11-28T17:02:00.001-08:00

This sprawling city has many ugly parts, but so many beautiful parts too. Like all of us.

Beach love

2011-11-27T20:10:00.000-08:00

Today was much better than yesterday. No tempers flared. The sun and sand soothed us all.

Thankful

2011-11-25T16:33:00.001-08:00

We are just back from Thanksgiving with Josh's sister Mookie and family in San Francisco. I am thankful for so much, but high on the list is to be back in the circle of Mookie's arms and love. Not that we didn't keep in touch through the separation; we did. But being there with all the family ... being part of the family ... it was priceless.

She is a poet. She gave me this poem.

The Measure of Love

do we love equally
you and I
as time and tide
passes between us
have we achieved parity

and how do we quantify
this symmetry
what yardstick
what scale
will measure

like children
shall we place
glasses on the counter
both watchful
as life pours in
both judging
who gets more
or less

or should we
savor our cups
drink fully
knowing half full
is the greatest amount.

-- Martha Meltzer

2011-11-19T21:30:00.000-08:00

The storm erupted.

I sat in the back yard and thought about nothing until the yelling stopped, then stayed for ten minutes more.

Lauren came looking for me. "It's OK now," she said. "We sorted it out."

I hugged her tight. "It's hard being a teen," I whispered in her ear.
"And it's hard being the dad of a teen.
Be kind to each other."

2011-11-18T22:14:00.001-08:00

It's so interesting, and delicate, to come back as an observer of a tenuous parent-teen relationship, in which I used to play a key part. Every time they butt heads, I wonder if my presence has affected things. Lauren says no. Josh says he doesn't know. Lauren says it's always been like this. Josh says that they haven't argued this way for a long time.

My urge is to hug them both, individually and together. To breathe with them, to encircle them with my love. To say let's calm. the. fuck. down.

Sure, she bugs me when she interrupts constantly, but not enough to throw me way off kilter. I probably interrupt more than I notice, too.

None of us are perfect. We are all human. So let's just lighten up, right? Have some fun, laugh, fart, and not take it all so seriously.

I would like that.

Indiana

2011-11-17T16:55:00.001-08:00

Little babies touch a particular place in my heart that nothing and no-one else comes near. I guess that's why our species hasn't died out yet. They're just so adorable and perfect ... when they're asleep.

2011-11-16T12:06:00.001-08:00

I'm actually enjoying leaving for work two hours earlier than before. The drive through the foggy canyon was so pretty this morning.

Home again

2011-11-16T08:01:00.001-08:00

What a crazy, yet oh-so-right, couple of weeks. It started with an out-of-the-blue text from Josh asking my permission to put our divorce on hold until we talked some things through. He invited me to brunch that weekend, and I went with some trepidation but an open heart. We talked, and walked, for hours.

The upshot is that our little family is together once more.

I have learned a lot through this time; about myself, about Josh, about letting go, about acceptance, and about meeting joy where I find it.

We both have new eyes, new appreciation, and deeper commitment. It's good. Very good. We are happy.

If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was.

Future tense

2011-10-26T21:45:00.000-07:00

This is not about going back. It's about going forward, together, into something better.

It's OK

2011-10-25T20:43:00.000-07:00

It's OK to be confused, but still happy.
It's OK to go with your gut, and when your gut feels peaceful, that means that things are right.
It's OK to be awake half the night but not stressed about it.
It's OK to know that many of the people who love you deeply won't understand, but that doesn't mean you're doing the wrong thing.
It's OK to follow love when it calls your name.
It's OK to want to start again.
It's OK to listen to how you were half to blame, and take it to heart, and want to do better.
It's OK to not be a victim, but a joyful participant in a new possibility.
It's OK to feel compassion for the others who were hurt.
It's OK to laugh twenty times a day, instead of two, or none.
It's OK to re-unite.
In fact, it's more than OK.

This is what I do at the supermarket

2011-10-24T18:41:00.000-07:00

What? Don't you?

If you can't see the above embedded video, click here.

Now You're Home

2011-10-23T02:20:00.000-07:00

Clare Bowditch's new single Now You're Home featuring Lanie Lane. I like it! If you prefer, view it here on YouTube.

Sketching fun

2011-10-21T20:22:00.001-07:00

Man Up

2011-10-21T19:24:00.000-07:00

I like the contrast between the large brush strokes of the background, and the small ones of the subject.

Table 7

2011-10-21T17:48:00.000-07:00

For those (like Elizabeth) who can't view the movie, here's a link to it on YouTube.

On not being here, now

2011-10-16T22:13:00.000-07:00

I spent much of the day with good friends, having good times. But I still kept checking for that text or email that never came.

Tonight I saw Mary Oliver

2011-10-15T23:46:00.000-07:00

THE SUN

Have you ever seen
anything
in your life
more wonderful

than the way the sun,
every evening,
relaxed and easy,
floats toward the horizon

and into the clouds or the hills,
or the rumpled sea,
and is gone--
and how it slides again

out of the blackness,
every morning,
on the other side of the world,
like a red flower

streaming upward on its heavenly oils,
say, on a morning in early summer,
at its perfect imperial distance--
and have you ever felt for anything

such wild love--
do you think there is anywhere, in any language,
a word billowing enough
for the pleasure

that fills you,
as the sun
reaches out,
as it warms you

as you stand there,
empty-handed--
or have you too
turned from this world--

or have you too
gone crazy
for power,
for things?

~ Mary Oliver ~

Life is good

2011-10-08T20:50:00.001-07:00

I am pretty much speechless after I paint. All I can think is "I am so lucky" and "life is so good." I know that means I'm in my Right Space. Nuff said.

We are the xx%

2011-10-07T17:54:00.000-07:00

I've been wondering what Occupy Wall Street was all about. Then I found this:

It was pretty sobering to read thirty or so of these entries. A common factor is crushing student loan debt -- I am so glad that I (and my children) do not have this burden.

Not to be pedantic, or to diminish anyone's suffering, but 99% is not an accurate number. I don't know what percentage of Americans lives hand to mouth, without medical insurance, but I (and my friends/relations here in the US) are neither desperately poor nor in the top 1% of wealth. So I don't fit into either camp. Nor, I suspect, do the majority of Americans.

I believe the official poverty statistics (however they are measured) stand at around 15%. But "We are the 15%" doesn't pack nearly the punch of "We are the 99%".

A funny (synchronous) connection: I just came across this passage in the novel I'm currently reading: "The conflict between corporations and activists is that of narcolepsy versus remembrance. The corporations have money, power, and influence. Our sole weapon is public outrage. Outrage blocked the Yuccan Dam, ousted Nixon, and in part, terminated the monstrosities in Vietnam. But outrage is unwieldy to manufacture and handle. First, you need scrutiny; second, widespread awareness; only when this reaches a critical mass does public outrage explode into being."

I'm interested to see where this goes, and what, if any, change it triggers.

The Dreaded Lurgy

2011-10-06T20:09:00.001-07:00

It's out to get me.

So long, Steve. And thanks.

2011-10-06T18:30:00.001-07:00

I am proud to work for the company (and the office) that wrote and produced the ad featured at the end of this clip ... and all the Apple marketing since.

P.S. I have seen the text from the "Think Different" ad posted many times in the last day or so, attributing the words to (a) Steve himself or (b) Jack Kerouac. This ad was actually written by two TBWA\Chiat\Day creatives, Rob Siltanen and Ken Segall. The voiceover is not Steve Jobs, but Richard Dreyfuss (though an unaired version was narrated by Jobs.)

So long Steve. You were an awesome (though very tough) client. There's no-one else like you.

TMJ

2011-10-03T21:33:00.000-07:00

Nearly a year ago, I was enjoying a post-Thanksgiving dinner with good friends, and laughing my butt off. (Michael's suggestion of a possible sign language interpretation for "concentration camp" cracked me up.) All of a sudden, my jaw locked up. I could hardly open my mouth.

I was alarmed, but as this had happened a few months earlier and remedied itself the following morning, I figured it would get better pretty fast.But it did not.

I consulted with various doctors, dentists, chiropractors, and even a cranio sacral therapist over the next few months. I received conflicting advice, though the common factor was large amounts of ibuprofin.

I dosed up. I applied heat. I applied ice. I massaged. I meditated. I avoided chewy foods. I wore my nightguard religiously.Nothing worked.

In April my GP said that, though it might take up to 18 months, it would get better by itself, so I abandoned the ice and ibuprofin. It hasn't improved yet.

Josh thought that my jaw would loosen up once we separated. He was wrong. It's been six months now, and it's tighter than ever. And it hurts! Oh yes, it hurts.

I'm getting pretty tired of my temporomandibular joint disorder. I have no clicking. I just have tightness and pain. Oh, how I would love to be able to YAWN.Any magic cures out there?

No To Do

2011-10-02T21:55:00.000-07:00

I’m a planner and a list-maker. Meals for the upcoming week, groceries to buy, gifts to make, books to read, state parks to visit, things to do before I die, items to pack for travel (winter and summer), things I might buy if I still want them in 30 days, hikes to take … you get the drift. I like me a good list. And I really, really like checking things off those lists.

This personality trait helps me in my job, where I manage multiple projects on tight timelines. Lists (and the satisfaction of accomplishing the things on them) come in pretty handy there. But lately I’ve been noticing that lists can take the place of something more important. I’ve noticed that I can fill my time with somewhat arbitrary stuff, and miss out on real connections. That I can spend a month reading a book I am just not into (because it’s on my list) instead of being swept up for several hours in a story that enthralls me.

So …. I’ve been experimenting with the idea of having no plans on (at least one day of) the weekends. To just do what feels good at the time and see what happens. A weekend with no ‘to do’. Radical, right? For a list-maker like me, it is.

So here’s what happened this weekend (sorry, but I have to make it a list).

I saw some awesome clouds.
I washed my sheets.
I vacuumed, and actually figured out why sometimes the machine blows instead of sucks. This is a good realization.
I painted a (very rough, completely non-perfectionist) portrait of my friend’s daughter and used it as her birthday card.
I also made a birthday card for my step-mum.
Both the above cards are addressed, stamped, and ready to mail.
I skyped with my sister and one daughter.
I walked a 3-mile circuit through my local cemetery. I love living near a graveyard.
I spent enjoyable time with four of my favourite girlfriends (on three separate occasions).
I visited a letterpress printing fair and relished lots of cool art and antique equipment.
I finished a book (“Candide” by Voltaire) and started another (“Complicity” by Iain Banks)
I processed my accumulated work email and made a To Do list for tomorrow (should I be admitting this?)

So, with no planning, I seem to have hit on the important* points: loved ones, cleanliness, art, exercise.

But there’s the rub. I’m still measuring the success of my weekend against my mental “to do” list. And feeling pleased with myself that I ‘got there’ even though I hadn’t planned it in advance. Maybe there’s no escape from my personality type. Or maybe I just need to get more enlightened.

NOTES:

I did not go grocery shopping. I still have an almost empty fridge. But luckily I got to bring home the leftovers of tonight’s dinner with 2 gf’s. So I’m set for tomorrow.
Are you a list-maker? If so, how do you unwind?

*Important = reflective of my values. Your mileage may vary.

LA Printers Fair

2011-10-01T22:06:00.000-07:00

I updated my blog template and whoa, the photos can be 20% bigger. Are they TOO big? I'm sure I'll get used to it, but they really seem a bit in-your-face.

Anyway ....

I attended the third annual LA Printers Fair at the International Printing Museum, a mecca for lovers of letterpress and book arts.

I kept my wallet under tight wraps, but now really wish I'd bought one of these awls. Aren't they awl-some?

AM spider, PM sunset

2011-09-30T20:39:00.000-07:00

Lots of natural beauty today :-)

Out on the town

2011-09-28T18:44:00.000-07:00

Saturday night: War Horse at the Lincoln Center. The storyline was maybe a little bit hokey, but the theatrics were incredible.

The gorgeous sunset on the way there was pretty awesome too. What a fabulous New York night out.

Sunday night: Rochelle and I checked into our hotel in Cranbury NJ at around 10PM local time. It only felt like 7PM to us, so we asked the front desk girl where we could go out for a drink. "NOW?" she asked incredulously. Um .... yeah. Now.

She directed us down a dark country road to Dock's Corner Tavern, which I see described on Yelp as a "fun little dive bar in the middle of nowhere." Dive bar? Check. Middle of nowhere? Check. Fun? Sure, if you like snaggle-toothed guys enthusiastically hugging you.

We escaped with our virtue intact at around midnight, with said snaggle-guy waving from the front step as we drove away.

Monday night: Rochelle, Beth and I had a lovely dinner at an historic restaurant. We were entertained by waitress Rory's deadpan humour (at least, we think she was trying to be funny; it was hard to tell) and her equally 'interesting' son, who told us in an unvarying monotone how excited he was to be in culinary school, and how beautiful his pregnant girlfriend is. Then he pulled out his phone to show us evidence of this fact.

It was all quite, quite bizarre. Especially when Rory visibly blanched when I ordered the tilapia. Didn't I know that tilapia was a bottom feeder? Her husband would never let her order that.

Rory let me take her photo in exchange for taking one of us girls playing silly-buggers. At least, Rochelle and I were. Beth just did her best Christmas card pose.

Leaving the restaurant, we (of course!) decided to wander through the pitch-dark graveyard across the road. Thank goodness for iPhone flashlights, that's all I can say.

At this point, the West Coast contingent was ready to keep partying, so Rochelle and I drove into Princeton to the Triumph Brew Pub.

We were hoping for some dance music but I guess Monday night just isn't party night in New Jersey. So we shared their sampler beers and called it a night.

Tuesday night: I flew home. Back to the real world.

AirBnB

2011-09-28T07:48:00.000-07:00

I found my Manhattan accommodation through AirBnB. It was my first time using their service, and it certainly won't be the last.

I selected this place, and it worked out great.

Mike and his girlfriend Natalia were really nice hosts, and the accommodations were just as described.

I'm now thinking of abandoning the search for a full time roommate, and offering the master bedroom on AirBnB instead. Hmmm ....

There's just something about you

2011-09-27T23:20:00.000-07:00

Ahh, New York. Stinky, muggy, noisy, dirty New York.

I think I like you better when I visit – or rendezvous – with a friend or lover, but this time I made new acquaintances, and that was wonderful too.

I love to arrive, but I am never heartbroken to leave you, because I know you'll be here when I am ready for more of your crazy cacophony.

You beguile yet exhaust me, New York. I will never hear all your stories, though I visit you a hundred times.

There is always another neighbourhood, another show, another friend to make or meet in another season. There is always another reason to return.

And so, I know I will. See you next time, New York.

This is where I will be tomorrow night

2011-09-23T12:53:00.001-07:00

Broadway here I come. Ooh yeah.

Tales to follow.

Being brave

2011-09-23T08:15:00.000-07:00

Recently my company put out a call for art submissions for our annual music/art/fest. At the urging of some of my workmates, I overcame my fear and contributed a couple of pieces.

Last night was the party, and here are my works! I actually wasn't embarrassed by them after all! I got lots of positive feedback, which was lovely. But more than that, I felt they were at least as good as other works in the exhibition, and I was proud of them.

I don't know who wrote this blurb. I am not sure what a 'rustic emotion' is meant to be, lol. But hey, I'll take it :-)

I'm ready to paint (and exhibit) some more! This is fun!

Good mail day

2011-09-19T18:37:00.000-07:00

Look what was waiting on my doorstep when I got home today: my Sisters' Day gift :-)

It reminds me of an anemone.

By the way, it was only a few years ago that I learned how to say that word properly. I always said anenome (an enemy). I was quite astounded to find out I'd gotten it wrong for my entire life.

This an-EM-oh-nee bowl was made by Olivia Sherwood.

Thank you sister! I love it, and you, very much.

Weekend goodness

2011-09-18T16:56:00.000-07:00

I've joined the VFF cult. Yes, I am sporting these incredibly weird and ugly 'shoes'. They. Feel. Amazing. While I would love to, I am not going to wear them to work. But I absolutely am going to wear them while exercising.

I trail-tested them this morning in Runyon Canyon. For the most part I walked on the dirt beside the paved track so that I could test out the almost-barefootedness. I loved feeling the actual ground, with all its irregularities.

My ankle didn't hurt at all. I never once felt like this guy. I am a Vibram Five Fingers convert.

See my new header? I just finished SCRIPTschool with the passionate, creative, and hyperactive Kal Barteski. It was fun learning to use a sumi brush and delectable creamy gouache.

Kal asked us to pick a phrase that had personal meaning and practice it over and over and over, trying different letterforms each time. Back in my teen years, "Love the one you're with" was an excuse for promiscuity. Now, it speaks to me of self-love. Instead of pining for the love I once had, I am reminded to love the one who's right here in this room: me.

The act of writing out the phrase twenty, thirty, forty times was very meditative and therapeutic. I see a LOT more brush scripting in my future.

Hollywood Forever

2011-09-11T07:11:00.000-07:00

Last night I enjoyed a Los Angeles summer tradition, an outdoor movie at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery.

Cinespia has been screening movies on the wall of the mausoleum on summer Saturday nights for 10 years, but this was the first time I've gone.

Gina and I became friends through our Sign Language studies. Then we were roommates for about a year before I married Josh. Those were good times! We get together too infrequently these days. When I texted her on Friday to find out her weekend plans, we quickly agreed on a picnic and movie under the moon.

Rebel Without a Cause: another first for me. I liked it a lot, though Gina found it pretty hokey. Regardless of the quality of the movie, it was a fun night out. Cemetery Screenings aren't really about the movie, they're about the experience. So I might even go back in two weeks to see E.T. :-)

Bedroom Makeover

2011-09-05T17:51:00.000-07:00

Whew. WHAT a busy two days it's been. I painted my bedroom at last. But I didn't stop there. I ended up with a complete makeover of the room. Come in and see ...

This was my room on Saturday. I'd done nothing to it since I moved in four months ago, with a bed, two bookshelves, a daggy old pine nightstand, and a trunk. The pale blue/grey bedding didn't go with the creamy yellow walls. It was stark. Ugly, even.

Here's another view. No wonder I didn't like being home. Ack.

But now ....

The walls are Pensive Sky, a little darker in the blue-grey family than the bedding. First up, I stacked the two bookshelves (need to strap them together, and to the wall; this is earthquake country).

I bought these curtains at Ikea. Sure, I could have made them, but I was going for the quick gains. I did line them with blackout fabric before hanging them. I have not been sleeping well since I got back from Australia, and I'm hoping that a very dark room will help. The strip of fabric on the pink chair was my inspiration for the color palette.

Here's the fabric again, made into a king pillowcase.

I painted the nightstand red, and (after spending a little time lusting after Anthropologie draw pulls) covered the knob with a motif from the feature fabric. The round red rug came from Ikea.

The lampshade, formerly green, I painted Indian Yellow. This turned out to be a bad idea, as it's now very opaque. A bedside light is not much use if it only shines up and down, not out. I'm going to have to rectify this situation.

The trunk still holds the spare blankets, but now it's sitting on the little blue rug that used to be beside my bed.

I have yet to hang art on the walls. This Misty Mawn painting is just sitting here waiting for me to get or create some larger pieces, then I'll figure out where to put them all.

One more thing: I made curtains for the little window in my ensuite bathroom. (Rhea, you will recognize the fabric.) I don't need them for privacy, but I like the cuteness!

I am quite worn out, but so happy with the results! Besides paint, the only things I bought were the curtains and hardware ($52) and the rug ($10). What a difference! I can't wait to go to bed tonight.

I think I deserve some new pyjamas now :-)

Long weekend in progress

2011-09-03T21:39:00.000-07:00

I used to love weekends. I could sleep in a little, move slowly, catch up on the housework and cooking, get outdoors, socialize, garden, sew ... you know, all that weekend stuff. With the backdrop and the embrace of my family, weekends were a mixture of stuff for us and stuff for me. A nice mixture.

But for the last few months, I have floundered through my weekends like a fish flapping on the dock, desperate to get back to my Right Place, wondering what the hell I am meant to do now that I am alone. My house isn't dirty, so the weekly housework takes a lick and a spit. My food needs are few, so there's no need to spend Sundays in the kitchen.

Yes, I can sew, I can paint, I can garden. Yes, I can call my girlfriends and arrange to see them. Yes, I can hike or go to an art gallery. In other words, yes, I can fill my weekend. But it all feels so arbitrary. Why choose one thing over another? Why do stuff just to fill the days? I have no direction. Nothing has meaning. I don't want to be busy just for the sake of it, but neither do I want to be idle, listening to the crazy talk in my head.

So when I was faced with a 3.5 day weekend (our office closed at 1PM Friday), I felt some trepidation.

However, I am happy to report, that today was very nice.

First, I gave blood. That's just iodine on my arm, in case you thought they'd botched the canula.

Then I had lunch with some girlfriends.

Then I went to the Skirball to see the Houdini exhibition, which closes tomorrow.

Then I came home and prepped my bedroom for painting.

These are all things that have been On The List for some time, so it felt really good to do and enjoy them. I am excited about the bedroom transformation; I've decided to put a little money and effort into making the room a place I really want to be. I think it will help my weekend blues.

1.5 days down, 2 to go. This is easy, right?

Back to the paints

2011-08-28T17:31:00.000-07:00

Today I had nothing to do but paint.

Oh man, it felt good.

A new day

2011-08-21T20:51:00.000-07:00

I left my heart in Proserpine, deep in the dark wells of a newborn's quizzical eyes, in the dimple of his cleft chin. Through streaming tears I walked away much too soon, to fly half way around the world, because I have a home and a job in America, and it was the ordained time to return.

I always feel lost when I return from Australia, for a little while at least. I question what I am doing here, so far from all my blood kin, from the ones I love so fiercely.

In the past, the answer was always found in my new family ties. But now, to my great sadness, these have been severed. When it's an empty house that's greeting me, it makes the decision to return even more questionable.

I've known for months that I need to create a new life for myself, post-Meltzer. As I work through my grief, my one little word for 2011 is now even more important.

Often the approach to LA is depressing: a blanket of brown smog, and endless miles of concrete. This morning it was heart-piercing beauty that lifted my soul. Through my emotional and physical exhaustion, I choose to sink into the possibilities of this new day.

As usual, Jen Lemen says it better than I can.

"I am trusting that love never dies, and that the future that is coming to me is the one that I am meant for."

Stay tuned.

Felix

2011-08-21T10:42:00.000-07:00

Felix Daniel Hepburn, born August 19 at 8:25 PM. Perfectly healthy. Heart-bustingly gorgeous. Totally loved by all.

I could stare at this little face forever.

Rhea

2011-08-21T10:31:00.000-07:00

Rhea, my youngest, my beautiful girl now becoming a woman, is oh-so-ready for motherhood. Baby was late, and there was some doubt that he would arrive before my scheduled departure.

But finally things got moving the day before I was to leave. I was very, very privileged to share her labour, and I will be forever grateful that she wanted me there, and that I could be.

Precious girl, I love you so.

The waiting

2011-08-13T18:56:00.000-07:00

I can't think of a prettier place to await a baby's arrival than Airlie Beach, Queensland.

Maggie and Merv

2011-08-13T18:48:00.000-07:00

I've realized there's no English term for one's child's in-laws. There should be one, for we share a bond of love for our wedded children. So I think I'll just call Maggie my "co-mother".

I am so happy that she and Merv live close to Rhea and Tony, and that they, too, are delighted with the choice their child has made. I couldn't ask for a nicer family to be part of. It will make the parting a tiny bit easier.

Tony

2011-08-13T18:45:00.000-07:00

Here's the man my daughter chose. He's a gentle artist who adores her. She picked well. And we all predict that their kids are going to be gorgeous :-)

Jesse

2011-08-13T18:35:00.000-07:00

My one-eyed pirate boy has grown into a rugged songwriting sailing man with a generous heart and a wicked way with words.

What a cool son.

Jai

2011-08-11T23:03:00.000-07:00

Jai. Grandson #1. Funny, smart and handsome. He'll go far, for sure.

Tui

2011-08-11T22:49:00.000-07:00

I had a wonderful couple of days with Tui; it was more just-the-two-of-us time than we've had for decades. We painted and sewed and photographed; we drove up into the mountains to walk in O'Reilly's treetops.

We talked about what is in our hearts, our struggles to be better people, and our hopes for the future.

My brave, beautiful firstborn makes me proud.

Nettie

2011-08-10T00:50:00.000-07:00

My sister is my dearest friend, the one who knows me better than any other. I am sad that I have so little time with her this trip, and none of it exclusive.

She wraps me tight in her love. Even from afar, I feel it.

Thank you, sister. Next time, we'll hang out more, for sure.

Lorraine

2011-08-08T18:12:00.000-07:00

Lorraine and I were both Girl Guide leaders on Tamborine Mountain in the late 1980s. We were a great team. Even though we hadn't seen each other for more than a decade, we've kept in touch over the years.

She and hubby Noel hosted me overnight in their waterfront home in Runaway Bay, and fed me delicious food while we caught up. It's such an easy, comfortable friendship we share. So nice.

Rebecca

2011-08-08T17:59:00.000-07:00

I met Rebecca about 20 years ago when she joined the small ad agency at which I worked. A few years later I started my own company, and Beck came to work for me. I'm ashamed to say that I 'let her go' via fax one day. Yep. Not my finest moment. Luckily she's forgiven me.

Now she and her husband Joe have their own successful design/ad agency, and two delightful daughters.

Oh, and a LOT of pets.

I love to stay with them when I visit the Gold Coast. The girls get so excited, and Leia is delighted to vacate her bed for me. They are endlessly welcoming, nurturing, and entertaining, and I'm honoured to count them among my friends.

Lizzie

2011-08-08T17:46:00.000-07:00

Lizzie and I met at Hawker College in Year 11 biology, in 1976. Our desks were arranged in a U-shape around the room, and she sat directly opposite me. She was cheerful, smart, and participative, engaging Mr Hoy in banter and obviously having a good time while knowing her stuff.

After the first 2 weeks, I figured I was going to do better in the class if I sat next to her, so I moved my seat. Thirty-five years later, we are still friends.

Through boyfriends, marriages, kids, divorce, grandkids, through cancer, travel, sewing, and food, our friendship buoys us both. We always have a bed in the other's house, and know there is a loving heart always ready to listen and support.

Friendship. It rocks.

The ring

2011-07-28T18:49:00.000-07:00

Seven years and nineteen days ago,
it was placed on my finger with ceremony,
in joy and sanctity,
with promise and hope and belief that
this marriage would be different from all the rest.

But it seems it wasn't.

He stopped wearing his years ago.
But I continued, even though we have lived apart for three months,
even though the papers are filed.

I was going to wear it until the day the courts declared it over.
Because our hearts had not declared that fact, for 100% certain.

But tonight he tells me that to heal, he needs to fully let go. For good.

So I take off the ring,
and wonder when my finger will forget.

Because I know for sure: my heart never will.

Man bag

2011-07-24T09:39:00.000-07:00

Hand made gifts for guys? Not so easy, as most of us know.

So when my son put out the call for a man bag to hold his iPad, I was pretty delighted. I was even more pleased when I came across a discarded pair of cargo pants with a pocket just the right size.

For the lining, I used the reverse side of a thrifted sheet. The polka dots were a bit too prominent on the 'right' side to be manly.

Not having the actual man handy to measure, I opted to make the strap adjustable. I could have used fabric, but I liked the heft and softness of this thrifted cotton webbing belt.

So the loose end wouldn't flop about, I fashioned a little holder out of embroidery cotton to hold it snug, while still allowing it to slide.

I hope he likes it! I'll be delivering it in person in a couple of weeks.

Missy Higgins

2011-07-22T07:50:00.000-07:00

Santa Monica Pier. Summer evening.

Missy Higgins.
Kim Churchill.
Andy Clockwise.

Free.

That's what I'm talkin' about.

American Sign Language + Adele

2011-07-20T22:30:00.000-07:00

I gave up my ASL studies four years ago, because my family needed me to earn a full time income. I was only 3 classes away from graduating with a degree in interpreting.

I watched this video tonight, and cried. Such a beautiful, moving language. I have to get back to it. I have to.

I will.

Beginner's Mind

2011-07-19T21:42:00.000-07:00

My day started in the cemetery, because who doesn't, on waking at 5AM, think "Sunrise shots in the graveyard sure would be cool"? I feel privileged to live so close to this peaceful hallowed ground. And glad that the gates are open that early.

At lunch I walked for a bit. I would have gone further, but I had no hat. The slap part of Slip slop slap just wasn't happening.

But the best part of the day, was ending it on the dance floor. How to express what these classes have brought to my life? I took a crappy photo and tried to infuse it with a sense of how they make me feel.

It's so different from what I imagine an Arthur Murray ballroom dance class would be like. This is a bunch of (predominantly) black people who have the music in them, and who are generous enough to welcome beginners into their midst. We all pay $5; the tuition goes for about 45 minutes for the benefit of the very few newbies. There are more than enough men to go around. Everyone keeps on eye on me and murmurs advice: "Stay on the balls of your feet", "Take smaller steps", "Don't bounce".

Soon it's free dance time, and man after man takes my hand and shows me how to be led, how to keep eye contact, how to stay in my 'lane', how to relax my hands. Everyone is a generous teacher to this baby beginner. I smile, I nod, I take it in. I do not protest or make excuses. I learn. I try to stay on the balls of my feet, despite my aching right ankle. I know that I have not become a superb ballroom dancer in three lessons, but I am not discouraged. I am buoyed.

These strangers have (literally) opened their arms to me. When I leave (way before the night is over) the women hug me and invite me to parties.

Can you tell I'm loving this?

And it's a lesson to me, in how to support a newcomer. My skin is a different colour. I have a different accent. I don't dress like they do. And although I was the Under 10 New South Wales Irish Dancing Champion in ... um ... 1969 ... although I can feel a beat and move to it ... I'm obviously not quite as fluid as the pros.

But nobody shies away. They approach. They are glad I returned this week. They take my hand. They look in my eyes. They hold me tight. They congratulate me on how fast I learn.

I am somewhat in awe of what I landed into here. Because it is JUST what I needed.

Tea

2011-07-17T09:45:00.000-07:00

Tea forté. Fancy. Enchanting. Delicious. Thanks Cris :-)

Looking for a roommate. With living room furniture.

2011-07-16T21:39:00.000-07:00

We only lived together for 10 weeks, but I was so sad when she packed up her truck and left this morning. I wish her a lifetime of happiness in her new city with her new man.

But for now, it looks like I have myself a dance studio!

P.S. If you know someone looking to share a lovely house near Culver City, Los Angeles, let me know. Especially if they have living room furniture.

Dance shoes

2011-07-13T23:09:00.000-07:00

A lunch time trip to DSW made it obvious to me that I was not going to find ballroom dancing shoes at a regular retail store. Wide fitting + large size + suede sole = specialty dancewear store.

Craigslist was not offering any size 11 Wide Ladies ballroom shoes today. Neither was Freecycle.

Damn.

I spent an hour in the dance wear store this afternoon, trying to find a pair of ballroom shoes that would fit my non-standard feet for under $100. Not easy. No kidding, I tried on 30 pairs. I ended up with these beauties, that are giving me blisters. But they cost $70, not $170 (for the pair that didn't rub at all).

I am a total beginner, so I just couldn't come at spending top dollar on a pair of shoes. It certainly occurred to me that I might never progress if my feet hurt too much to dance.

But tonight I managed another 90 minutes of cha-cha-cha-ing. And the leather will stretch, right?

Cha cha cha

2011-07-12T23:27:00.000-07:00

I've wanted to take dance classes, oh, forever.

Yesterday afternoon I was checking out what appears to be the main shopping drag in my new town. It's kind of sad, with lots of empty shopfronts. The main things still sold are school uniforms and inexpensive clothing. But there was an art gallery of sorts, and I wandered in and chatted with the nice man, Sharif. He pointed out the adjacent room where they hold functions and teach ballroom dancing.

"I'm interested in dance classes," I told him.

"Then come back tomorrow night at 7."

So I did.

And I learned to cha cha cha.

And I loved it.

Now I just need some slippery-soled shoes.

A way to deal

2011-07-12T06:48:00.000-07:00

I read this today over on Kal's awesome blog: "My Mom taught me a valuable lesson about dealing with emotional pain: JUMP INTO A BIG PROJECT. Go whole hog. That's her solution for everything. Long distance relationship? Paint your bedroom. Empty nest syndrome? Build a massive pergola. Anxiety? Re-tile your bathroom. Heartsick? Rip out the carpet!"

I was going to wait till after my Australia visit to repaint the bedroom ... but now I'm thinking this weekend, while the city is mired in Carmaggedon, might be the perfect time. Because I sure won't be going anywhere.

Keeping it real

2011-07-08T09:31:00.001-07:00

You Are Beautiful from Allison Tyler on Vimeo.

Show Up Hungry

2011-07-07T09:15:00.001-07:00

I'm delighted and honoured to have a guest post on Unplugged Sunday today. Please click here to read my article about our year of open house Sunday dinners.

What is the colour of ...

2011-07-06T23:01:00.001-07:00

Fung Kwok Pan has developed this nice piece of code that takes an entered search query, grabs 80 Flickr photos related to the query, then makes a composite of the photos, showing you the colour of whatever you entered. It's pretty neat. Try it yourself here.

I got more earthy

2011-07-06T19:21:00.001-07:00

Sometimes it's ethereal

2011-07-06T18:13:00.000-07:00

July 1

2011-07-01T21:32:00.000-07:00

See ya Tuesday, Chiat. I've got a long weekend to enjoy.

Half the year has gone

2011-06-30T22:40:00.000-07:00

I caught golden hour at both ends of the day. Score.

7:30 AM I was in Century City to learn about how my decision to become a US citizen is going to affect my taxation status for the rest of my life. But first: pretty shadows.

Then, to celebrate a successful half-year, we were treated to a fancy dinner (at The Lobster in Santa Monica) by one of our vendors. This is my workmate Elke.

And this is Dena. Both these ladies are awesome to work with.
While waiting for the food, I had the choice of staying in my west-facing seat and being blinded by the setting sun, or going outside and taking photos. Easy choice, duh.

A couple of street entertainers were challenged to a dance-off by a pair of young guys. I so wish I'd shot video of the interaction; it was immensely entertaining.

I didn't even notice this spectator was holding a puppy until I processed the photo.

Back in the restaurant, I ate my delicious meal of Australian barramundi ("Up in the north/they eat barramundi/here in Australia/you'll never go hungry") but soon got antsy again and had to get back out there. Because that's what I do. I get back out there.

It's the end of June, and it seems I have survived.

Sticky

2011-06-29T22:00:00.001-07:00

My headlight was out. On my last Saab, I tried changing the bulb and found it very very fiddly and time consuming. I never managed to do the funky clip back up, and ended up putting a piece of tape on the back of the bulb to try to hold it in place. So this time, I went right to the experts at Swedish Car Center.

When Hakan popped the hood and reached his hand into the skinny gap behind the headlight, I told him I wanted to watch what he did so I could learn. He laughed. "It's really hard on these cars," he said, which made me feel less inept. If even a Saab mechanic thinks its hard, then it really much be tricky. And there just wasn't enough space to see what he was doing. Even he couldn't see; he did it by feel. And it took 30 minutes. So yeah, I don't feel so bad now.

Right next door is what used to be my favourite thrift store, when they had a large one in my neck of the woods. One of the workers there became unusually attracted to me over a period of time. He always called me Pretty Lady. I used to joke to Josh about it, referring to the guy as Javier. It turned out that his name really was Javier! And he was pretty devastated when he found out I was married. Sadly, they closed that branch down and the one here, near my mechanics, isn’t nearly as good. I wonder whatever happened to Javier …

I was pretty bemused by this mannequin sporting only a plastic necklace. Seems like a waste of a good body, ya know? She is severely underdressed, even for Venice Beach.

While Hakan fiddled with my headlights, I stood in a big blob of gooey gum. Those that have lived with me know that I have zero tolerance for gum. I freakin’ hate the stuff. And this is why.

After work I went to an industry event at the Beverly Hilton. These photos were taken inside the parking structure.

Pretty cool, huh?

I felt like such a celebrity when I walked back to the elevator and was greeted with this poster on the end wall. What, it’s not me they’re adulating?

Mishe Mokwa Trail, Malibu

2011-06-26T18:52:00.000-07:00

Pennee and I wore ourselves out. It was HOT. I am sunburned. Next time I do this hike, I'll start at 6:30 not 9:30 AM. Because, yes, there will be a next time. The Mishe Mokwa Trail is so very lovely.

Rust

2011-06-25T20:27:00.000-07:00

En route to lunch with friends (one very current, one from the middling past) in Burbank, I cruised through Griffith Park. I could take photos for days (and weeks) there. In an urban area like Los Angeles, it's quite the oasis. Much more than Central Park is for New Yorkers. Because here, it's way less built up. Ironic that the things I focused on were those that reminded me of gritty civilization.
What bug or bird makes such regular piercings?

I was attracted to some rusty machinery above Mineral Wells. I love the 'road to nowhere' ....

My friends and I met at Porto's in Burbank. It's no surprise that this is a popular hangout. The prices are reasonable, the food is fine.

It was loud, but what do you expect in a focal meeting spot? Got a problem with that? Go walk down the street. So, after lunch, we did.

June 23

2011-06-23T18:47:00.000-07:00

A random collection of images from the past 24 hours ...

Painting done last night.

After a little iPhone colour adjusting. Which version do you prefer?

Snaps taken while on a press check this morning.

And look what I 'found' on the New York Times obituary page this afternoon.

Lola

2011-06-21T21:22:00.000-07:00

Camping trip, Day 2

2011-06-19T20:35:00.000-07:00

After a leisurely breakfast of cheesy scrambled eggs, Canadian bacon, OJ and tea, we trekked an hour or two north to the town of Lee Vining on the shores of Mono Lake.

The lake is pretty famous for its tufa formations. We wandered the shores and took some shots, then headed further north to the well-preserved ghost town of Bodie.

As the afternoon progressed, we decided to head back to Mono Lake to quietly revel in 'golden hour' amongst the tufa formations.

Then it was back up the mountain to our little orange tent to brave the ensuing wind storm ...

... enjoying an awesome sunset on the way.

Camping trip, Day 1

2011-06-19T20:18:00.000-07:00

My buddy Chris and I headed north up Hwy 395, with a couple of scenic stops along the way. Destination: Bishop.

Red Rock Canyon always deserves a visit.

So does Fossil Falls.

We kept heading north through rising elevations.

Arriving at Bishop, we turned west and climbed four thousand feet more, till we found our campground. As we rose, it became apparent that checking the weather for Bishop (particularly the overnight temps) had been pretty irrelevant. It was going to be a LOT colder up here.

Forks Campground is gorgeous! We selected a site sheltered by pine trees, right next to a rushing stream. As white noise, it was perhaps a tad too loud, but it was certainly preferable to the aircraft and sirens that are our customary nightly accompaniment.

After setting up, we cruised back down the mountain to check out the pleasures that Bishop has to offer. A beer, some live music, and the dedication ceremony for a community art project led us to believe that Bishop is a pretty nice little town.

Back up the hill, we enjoyed a lovely campfire dinner and some equally palatable vino rosso. And the stars! Oh, yes ...

New lens

2011-06-16T21:44:00.000-07:00

After reading this e-book, I decided I needed a 50mm lens with a lower f-stop than anything I currently own. It arrived today; I didn't have much time to play with it but this little series shows the varying depths of field that different f-stops yield. I'm going to have fun with this baby.

My buddy Chris and I are heading out for a camping trip tomorrow. Expect photos from here and here in coming days. Woohoo!

An evening in Hollywood

2011-06-15T22:06:00.000-07:00

Look at me! Out! In Hollywood! Alone! On a week night!

I heard a band I liked on KCRW the other day, an a capella group called Sonos. They are doing a four week residency at the Hotel Cafe, and on a whim I bought a ticket to see them.

I took full advantage of the hour or so I had to spare, wandering the gritty blocks around the nightclub, looking for beauty (which, as you can see, was easy to find.)

Sonos was good! I liked them a lot. A forty-five minute set in a small venue (for ten bucks) is just about perfect for me. I really need to do this more often.

Let's go to the park

2011-06-12T20:59:00.000-07:00

June 12

2011-06-12T16:32:00.000-07:00

A grave kind of day

2011-06-12T09:13:00.000-07:00

It was overcast at first, but later in the afternoon the sun broke through. I'd had a quiet contemplative day, so a visit to the old section of the nearby cemetery seemed right.

Then I read these words by the incomparable Jen Lemen: "I’m trying to forget everywhere I’ve been, so I can find myself exactly where I am. I’m examining the goodness of staying in one spot and loving exactly what is before me, without demand or expectation." She says it so much better than I can.

For days I have been feeling so rudderless, so purposeless. As I said to Josh yesterday, "It's so hard to suddenly go from having a family to not having one." It's not just the loneliness, though that is sometimes overwhelming. When you have a partner and children you always know what you need to do next. You have parameters, boundaries, a standard to measure things against. But when those fences are taken down, what then? What am I meant to be doing?

The answer is: I am meant to be here. I am meant to love exactly what is before me, without demand or expectation. I need to forget everywhere I've been, so I can find myself exactly where I am.

June 8

2011-06-08T20:55:00.001-07:00

Pensive

2011-06-07T22:07:00.000-07:00

Peonies

2011-06-07T19:50:00.000-07:00

Two days ago, just beginning to open.

I wish I'd taken time-lapse photos of these babies opening and changing colours. Wow.

Are these unusually large peonies (8" span), or is this normal? (They remind me of these.)

I want to grow me some! But for now, $7 a bunch at Trader Joe's is good value in my book. I've certainly got more than $7 worth of entertainment out of them for the past four days.

June 5

2011-06-05T21:20:00.000-07:00

First attempt at a male portrait.

Little Petroglyph Canyon

2011-06-05T07:15:00.000-07:00

The Coso Rock Art District on the California/Nevada border contains the largest concentration of unaltered prehistoric petroglyphs in the western hemisphere. The district is located on the Naval Air Weapons Station China Lake. Limited tours are offered by the Maturango Museum; one of the stipulations is that you have to be a US citizen, which is why it's taken me till 2011 to visit.

After security clearances and a spectacular 45 mile drive within the base, we arrived at Little Petroglyph Canyon, just a small sliver of the Coso Rock Art District, but the only section open to the public.

Then followed six hours of hiking, boulder scrambling, awe and wonder. It really felt a privilege to be there.

The petroglyphs were made by chipping, pecking, and scraping away the rocks' patina, exposing the lighter colour underneath. No-one really knows who made them, or when. Some depict tools that can be dated historically: the atlatl (spear thrower) from 3000 years ago, and the bow and arrow from 1500 years ago. The images seem to span many thousands of years; in some cases new petroglyphs partially obscure much older ones.

Some symbols are obvious: bighorn sheep ..

... shamen ...

... hunters ...

... while others remain obscure.

The weather couldn't have been better: warm but not hot, breezy but not windy.

We happily wore ourselves out, then made the long drive back home.

For more petroglyphy goodness, check out the entire flickr set.

Through the desert

2011-06-03T19:04:00.000-07:00

Along with my friends Chuck and Bernadette, I headed out to Ridgecrest in preparation for tomorrow's adventure. On the way we stopped at Red Rock Canyon State Park for a stretch.

Note human for scale.

Then we kept on headin' down that desert road.

With a quick detour through the old mining town of Randsburg.

1st Thursday ArtWalk

2011-06-03T08:27:00.000-07:00

My housemate Pennee invited me to attend the 1st Thursday ArtWalk in San Pedro last night. It's been many (8? 9?) years since I'd made the drive to this vibrant event, so I gladly accepted. The town was really hopping, full of art lovers, food trucks, live music, and grungy teens lining up to get into noisy venues. It's quite the fun scene!

I loved this piece, encased in a perspex box, by the sculptor Hiroko. You can see more of his work here.

Tomorrow is Petroglyph Day! I'm excited!

June 1

2011-06-01T22:24:00.000-07:00

One of those eyes needs more work.

The end of Month 1

2011-05-31T20:57:00.001-07:00

I started the month with a photo out my new front window, and coincidentally I'm ending it that way too.

Three fire trucks and an ambulance on my street. Why? No idea.

What a month it has been. I've been through the whole gamut of states: achingly sad, wistful, peaceful, joyful, productive, creative, bored, energetic, lonely, tipsy, hurt, contemplative, chatty, hungry, relieved, and exhausted. I saw my daughter marry. I traveled to Texas. I spent quality time with friends. I painted and sewed and danced and gardened. I lost my car. I visited Home Depot more times than I care to count.

And I healed, more than a little. I learned more about myself, about my tender spots, and the things I hang on to, and the things I can let go. I woke each day with a goal of peace. It helped.

It's a journey, and I'm at last beginning to truly accept that this is my road to walk.

Paper Bag Princess

2011-05-30T22:07:00.000-07:00

Art in the Streets

2011-05-30T07:21:00.000-07:00

Art in the Streets, an exhibition of graffiti and street art, is the best thing I've ever seen at the Geffen Contemporary at MOCA. If you're in SoCal, you might want to get yourself down to Little Tokyo to check it out.

I had camera issues (well actually I had iPhoto issues at download) and I lost a lot of my pics (yes, you're allowed to photograph the exhibits). Some I managed to salvage back from Instagram (thank goodness I did a few quick uploads while I was there.)

But I think you get a bit of a feel for the experience from these varied shots. It was such a visual overload! So much talent, so much energy! Wonderful stuff.

Click on the pics for credits.

Flower

2011-05-29T06:15:00.000-07:00

Some paper awesomeness (and a lovely song from Amos Lee) to bring a smile to your day.

Things that made my heart swell tonight

2011-05-28T22:05:00.000-07:00

This and this.

Hot "Gazpacho"

2011-05-28T19:11:00.000-07:00

I was browsing through a favourite old Weight Watchers cookbook this morning (In A Flash, published in 1998) and realized I had all the ingredients for this yummy soup. I annotate my cookbooks, writing the date I first tried the recipe, and a comment on the results. There are only 124 recipes in this slim volume, and I've tried (and mostly loved) 60 of them. I can't claim this record for any other book in my substantial collection.

So right beside Cheesy Couscous (tagged as 'Wonderful!' on 01-19-99) I found this gem of an until-today-untested recipe. Although gazpacho means 'uncooked', this take on the classic Spanish cold soup is hot in both senses of the word: it's served warm, and the chilli sauce adds as much fire as you fancy.

Hot "Gazpacho"

1 green bell pepper, seeded and chopped
1 small cucumber, peeled, seeded and chopped
1 onion, chopped
3 tomatoes, seeded and chopped
1/4 cup packed cilantro leaves
3 cups low sodium V8 juice
2 tablespoons red wine vinegar
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 clove garlic, minced
Freshly ground pepper
Hot chilli sauce, to taste

In a food processor, pulse the bell pepper, cucumber and onion until finely chopped; transfer to a nonreactive saucepan. In the food processor, pulse the tomatoes and cilantro until finely chopped; add to the pepper mixture. Stir in the remaining ingredients, except for the hot sauce. Heat the soup to serving temperature, and add the hot sauce to taste.

Mmmmmmmmm!!!