April 7

Today, I am fifty. Fifty! It's quite amazing to me. My gift to myself is a solo getaway in a secluded Big Sur cabin.

The instructions to get there are quite complicated. You have to call them from Hearst Castle (70 miles south) because after that your cell phone won't work. This gives them your ETA. Then, at a specific mile marker near the turnoff, you can get a cell signal so you have to call again from there to confirm your arrival. You then drive down an unmarked side street for a couple of miles, and meet this guy.
This is John. He led the way up a dirt road to the cabin then helped carry my stuff in, and explained the composting toilet.

The gardens around the cabin are wonderful, a perfect riot of colours and textures.






After a short nap, I hiked back down the mountain to Pfeiffer Beach.

Note the street name. I think they wanted me to keep out.

My dream home. Pacific Ocean in the background. Ooh yeah.

Wildflowers galore.

On the road to the beach is a field containing some shaggy horses. I guess a lot of people thought they were looking uncared-for, and the owners had to explain that they were just really really old.


I didn't stay long at the beach; I wanted to get back up the mountain before sunset.

After a spot of dinner, I'm cozied up in bed with a book and some knitting, happy as a clam.

April 6

Forget every potato salad you have ever had. This one is the King. Pardon the crappy photo. Make the recipe anyway. It's very very good.

Golden Potato Salad
adapted from The Vegetarian Family Cookbook by Nava Atlas
6 servings

1 large sweet potato
4 medium Yukon Gold potatoes
1 cup frozen green peas, thawed
1 medium red bell pepper, cut into narrow strips
2 scallions, thinly sliced
3/4 cup plain yogurt
1 tablespoon olive oil
Juice of 1 lime
Salt and freshly ground pepper to taste
Minced fresh dill, to taste

Bake or microwave the potatoes in their skins until done but still firm. Let them cool to room temperature. Slip their skins off and cut into 1/2- to 3/4-inch chunks and place in a serving bowl with the peas, bell pepper, and scallions.

Combine the yogurt, oil and juice in a small bowl. Stir into the potato mixture.

Season with salt and pepper, and stir in the dill. Dig in.

April 5

I pointed Mr. Generosity to my Amazon wish list, and he bought every book on it. Now I'm overwhelmed with choices.

April 4

Among other things, we discussed Anza-Borrego, campervans, and techniques for keeping dogs off couches. I always love my time with Chuck and Bernadette.

April 3

After an outing to the Maloof House, I came home to a surprise birthday party. I felt loved.

April 2

I've been thinking a lot of how I need to change, but maybe what I need to do is start accepting myself as I am.

April 1

Her irrational fear was fed by another's, and nothing I could say made a difference.

Who's been using my tools?

I got up nice and early so I could start a new project while everyone else was sleeping. Cleaned off my sewing table, ironed fabric, then discovered that my rotary cutter is so incredibly blunt it can only dent the cloth, not cut through a single thread. It was cutting just fine last time I used it. Maybe the mysterious Vegemite thief has been playing with my tools.

::: sigh ::: I will have to wait till the stores open so I can buy a new blade.

Even the dark won’t stop you

how to climb a mountain
Make no mistake. This will be an exercise in staying vertical.
Yes, there will be a view, later, a wide swath of open sky,
but in the meantime: tree and stone. If you’re lucky, a hawk will
coast overhead, scanning the forest floor. If you’re lucky,
a set of wildflowers will keep you cheerful. Mostly, though,
a steady sweat, your heart fluttering indelicately, a solid ache
perforating your calves. This is called work, what you will come to know,
eventually and simply, as movement, as all the evidence you need to make
your way. Forget where you were. That story is no longer true.
Level your gaze to the trail you’re on, and even the dark won’t stop you.
– by Maya Stein

March 24

I do not remember eating the last of the Vegemite. In fact, I could have sworn the jar was half full last time I looked. Could there, in fact, be another Vegemite eater in the household? Or is someone messing with me?

March 23

Those who know what an intact sewing machine needle looks like will recognize that these fragments do not add up to the whole needle. Which means that another piece of it is most probably lurking inside my machine, waiting to mangle delicate cogs and such. Not cool.

New York, New York

Sometimes you really do get what you want. Last weekend, the girl got what she had been dreaming of for years ... a trip to New York.

After my business was done, it was all about what she wanted to do. Broadway (Billy Elliot -- fabulous!), Juilliard (she has aspirations!), Radio City Music Hall (the Stage Door Tour is really cool, do it!), 5th Ave stores (yawn), Central Park, Times Square, Lady Liberty. Sadly, there was little time for my preferences (art museums, fabric shopping) but I did get to walk the High Line for the first time.

Rowing in Central Park was fun. The weather was glorious. She got blisters from the oars, but persevered anyway. I like that about her.

After seeing Billy Elliot, we came upon an impromptu dance party in the subway. The Meetles were playing old Beatles classics. A couple of people started dancing. I was maybe the fifth to join in. Soon 20 or 30 of us were dancing, while a crowd sang and clapped and filmed. Lauren refused to dance, but she pulled out the camera. It was kinda fabulous.

You can tell from this photo she is way too mature and classy for spontaneous expressions of dance in subways. Even though she is, allegedly, a dancer. Oh well, I had fun :-)

March 14

Lauren + me + Lola + Lynne (Lo/Ly) spent the day at Dana Point, enjoying a sunny spring day by the ocean.

First we christened the picnic blanket I made Lo/Ly for Christmas, then Lauren and I went out whale watching while the others slumbered on the beach.


We saw California Grey Whales and a Fin Whale and a large pod of dolphins. We felt bad about chasing after the whales, as they were obviously trying to avoid the paparazzi. But the dolphins -- well, they seem to love the attention. What fabulous creatures!

I'm so happy that we went. Whale watching has been on my list for years.

Now I'm thinking ahead to my birthday early next month, and wondering what else I might do off my list that day (and the following weekend). I'll be home alone, so my options are wide open.

March 1

A big box of baby love is on its way to a new mama-to-be.

February 28

I've been fighting a cold; sadly, the cold is winning. It's therapeutic to sit and quietly hand stitch in between sneezes. Yes, I will wash the blanket before gifting it.

February 21

Today's baby thought: nappy (diaper) bag.

This is Anna Maria Horner's Multi-Tasker Tote; it's a fabulous pattern. I made one for myself a while ago, and I find it really useful. I take it to work; it holds my regular handbag, my lunch bag, my kindle bag, my knitting bag, and anything else I load into it. I can always find my phone, iPod and keys because they're in the outside pockets. It occurred to me that this would make a wonderful nappy bag, so I created one today specifically for that purpose.

I actually have a spare copy of this pattern. When I ordered it, they accidentally sent two. I offered to return one, but Anna Maria said to give it away to a friend. Who would like it?

Thinking about babies

The last few years have seen a population explosion in our family.

This cutie was born in 2007,

this pretty miss in 2008,

this cherub appeared three months early in 2009, and is now doing great ... and Baby Boy 2010 is currently incubating.

Hmm ... I might have to make three more of these.

February 20

A morning all alone. Slowly cleaned the kitchen, roasted vegetables, listened to This American Life, and recaptured my soul.

It was just what I needed.

February 11

My feet are imprinted with my sister's knitted socks. I hoped the podiatrist would ask, but he didn't. Instead, he x-rayed my ankle and gave me a cortisone shot. Hopefully my 'chronic joint inflammation' will now heal.

Nearly V-Day

After 14 years in the US, I still am not on board with the American idea of giving Valentines to your parents, children, friends and classmates. To me, Valentines are reserved for *lovers*. But flowers are welcome any day, so it was very lovely to come home to this early V-Day surprise from Lauren, paid for from her allowance. What a sweetie-pie.

New Stove

Last weekend I emailed our lovely landlords, saying: "Something is wrong with our oven. It's always taken a long time to pre-heat, but now it's getting ridunkulous ... just now it took an hour to reach 325°. It's become impractical to use it unless I have a lot of time. Could you possibly get someone to look at it?" No problem, they said ... we'll replace it. And while we're at it, would you like one with two ovens?

Are you kidding me? The ability to roast vegetables and bake a pie simultaneously? Um .. yes please! Yesterday it arrived, and to celebrate I made *perfect* pizza in an oven that heated to 550°F in only 15 minutes.

:::happy dance:::

February 7

It's been five weeks since I put on the cape of single-motherhood, and the thing that has suffered the most has been my creativity. I just haven't had the mental space to be creative. I don't know how mothers of toddlers do it; how they snatch ten minutes in which to design and make. I need time and silence, to allow ideas to percolate. Right now I have Lauren and her friend at my back, waiting for the computer so they can shoot a music video, and I'm typing fast to get this posted then I'll abandon my studio again, to retreat to my bedroom with a sketchbook. No wonder I've been knitting; it hasn't required any thought. But I really miss the act of creation; I have to carve myself the space for it. Waiting till the end of April when Josh returns simply isn't going to cut it.

Mary Ellen Mark

Today Mary Ellen Mark came to our workplace to meet with the art buyers. A quiet invitation was sent to the print producers to come over and view her latest portfolio if we were interested. I am not easily starstruck, but I honestly felt it a privilege to hold her photos in my hands and speak with her. What an artist. I actually had to stop browsing after a while, because her images were just too heartbreaking. Back at my desk, I read an article about the Damm family and felt doubly privileged. I am so, so lucky.