I left my heart in Proserpine, deep in the dark wells of a newborn's quizzical eyes, in the dimple of his cleft chin. Through streaming tears I walked away much too soon, to fly half way around the world, because I have a home and a job in America, and it was the ordained time to return.
I always feel lost when I return from Australia, for a little while at least. I question what I am doing here, so far from all my blood kin, from the ones I love so fiercely.
In the past, the answer was always found in my new family ties. But now, to my great sadness, these have been severed. When it's an empty house that's greeting me, it makes the decision to return even more questionable.
I've known for months that I need to create a new life for myself, post-Meltzer. As I work through my grief, my one little word for 2011 is now even more important.
Often the approach to LA is depressing: a blanket of brown smog, and endless miles of concrete. This morning it was heart-piercing beauty that lifted my soul. Through my emotional and physical exhaustion, I choose to sink into the possibilities of this new day.
As usual, Jen Lemen says it better than I can.
"I am trusting that love never dies, and that the future that is coming to me is the one that I am meant for."